Fool’s News

The NSA and the Bush administration has lost Round 1. The decision can be found here.

Federal Judge Anna Diggs Taylor has ruled that the Bush administration’s authorization of warrantless wiretapping of Americans is uncounstitutional.

The case is being appealed. One of my favorite lines from the opinion is: “There are no hereditary Kings in America and no powers created by the Constitution.”

Democracy becomes a government of bullies tempered by editors.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 – 1882)

Here.

With quotes like this I suspect it’s true: “I wasn’t authorized to say such a thing. I told him this was black or white, that Pakistan was either with us fully or not.” However, Armitage acknowledged using “strong” language in a discussion with Pakistani General Mahmoud Ahmad.
Of course, not being “authorized to say such a thing” does not mean the same thing as “I did not say that.”

Some claim he is dead?

Others say he’s got typhoid.

Others say he might be partially paralyzed.

Some say he just a little run down from a water-born bacteria.

Still others think he’s working on a new plan to attack the United States.

At this point, who knows? That’s quite a range of possibilities. I suspect he’s alive and well. That’s just me.

I posted a similar entry in the last iteration of this blog.  I love sites that discuss frivolous lawsuits.  Here’s another:  The Whiplash Awards.

The recent winner:

An impoverished blind man named Vernon Henley was thrilled when he received the gift of a seeing-eye dog. The two took their maiden voyage to a shopping mall, where they came upon Susan Faith. The woman saw them coming, but did not move out of their way because she “wanted to see if the dog would walk around me.” The dog tugged at his leash, but Henley didn’t change directions fast enough, accidentally stepping on Faith’s toe and breaking it. Faith could not believe the gall of the blind man. After learning that Henley had no money, Faith sued the dog’s owner, Southeastern Guide Dogs, for “loss of earning capacity . . . and mental pain and suffering.” Her husband, Reverend Ian Faith (yes, Reverend), felt he also deserved compensation for the loss of his wife’s care, comfort, and consortium. The Faiths refused Southeastern’s offer to cover $5,000 worth of medical bills. Vernon Henley died, but the couple kept the faith and soldiered on with their case.

The Verdict, Please . . .
    After a newspaper article about the lack of faith shown by the plaintiffs, the couple was inundated with furious phone calls. Reverend and Ms. Faith then decided to be good Christians and they turned the other cheek. After dropping their claim, their born-again law firm, Mulock, Thompson, and Little, followed suit and donated $1,000 to Southeastern Guide Dogs.

Enjoy.

The International Trademark Association (“INTA”) announced yesterday that the Ladas Memorial Award Competition papers will be due by January 10, 2007.

For additional details, please visit www.inta.org/go/academic.

Well, kind of.

With no end in sight for Tom Cruise’s publicity antics, this one’s a doozy. According to this article, Tom and Katie have had their daughter’s (Suri) first bowel movement bronzed. Yes, you heard right. (Follow the link, there’s a picture of the bronzed turd.)

The scatological sculpture — more doodoo than Dada — is purportedly cast from 19-week old Suri’s first bowel movement and will be shown at the Capla Kesting gallery in Brooklyn, New York, before being auctioned off for charity.

It will auctioned through eBay.

The artist behind the work, Daniel Edwards, previously courted controversy with a life-size nude sculpture of pop star Britney Spears giving birth on a bearskin rug. That work was shown at the same gallery in April. Apparently, this was Edwards’ idea and he needed to convince Tom to do this. But still…

What have we been reduced to? Bronzing famous people’s kids’ poop for sale. Ugh. Of course, the article points out that the “proceeds from the sale going to infant health charity March Of Dimes,” like that makes it okay. I just don’t care that the proceeds are going to charity. I simply can’t believe that the Cruises would do this. Even more, I can’t believe that anyone would pay for his child’s poop.

Please don’t bid on this piece of shit (pun intended). Rather, just go to March Of Dimes and make a donation. Or any number of organizations like United Way, or any number of other charities.

It also seems to be that Cruise has an enormous ego to try to sell his child’s turds. To think that someone would want that…even “for charity”.

I wonder if this is some Scientologist thing? Perhaps Paramount got word of this stunt and that’s the reason it severed its relationship with Cruise. The timing seems right, doesn’t it? If so, good for Paramount.

If the goal was to raise money for charity, why not do something normal – like auction a dinner with Tom & Katie, or a tour of their home, or a sneak preview of the child herself (since she has not been seen in public yet)? But, c’mon, the child’s crap.

Moreover, the fact that this marks news is revolting on its own. So, I’ve spent enough words discussing something I think is un-newsworthy. So, enough.

P.S.  One final thought:  I wonder what the certificate of authenticity for this “work of art” will look like.

Steve Irwin, best known as TV’s the “Crocodile Hunter” has died. He was stung in the chest by a stingray while filiming a documentary special underwater off of Australia’s northern coast.

Irwin, 44 was killed by a stingray barb that went through his chest, according to Cairns police sources.

He is survived by his American-born wife Terri and their two children, Bindi Sue, born 1998, and Robert (Bob), born December 2003.

Of his countrymen, in 2003, Irwin said:

And yet back here in my own country, some people find me a little bit embarrassing. “You know, there’s this… they kind of cringe, you know, ’cause I’m coming out with ‘Crikey’ and ‘Look at this beauty.’

Quite unfortunate.

Slowly.  With baby steps.  The movement to keep administration of “the Net” out of the hands of corporate entities is slowly growing.  Statistics seem to suggest that the division is nearly along party lines - with republicans in favor of giving the internet to companies (surprise?!?).

Do your part.  Keep the Internet unbiased.  Visit SaveTheInternet.com now.  Sign the petition here.

Do it!

Have we not heard enough about the dire straits in which the social security system finds itself?  Now the government wants to include illegal aliens in the social security system.

I have been contributing to the social security system for the past nearly 20 years.  I have been told for the past several years that I may reap no benefits from the system by the time I retire.

Sen. Patrick Leahy (D – VT) said, “We should not steal their funds or empty their Social Security accounts.  That is not fair. It does not reward their hard work or their financial contributions. It violates the trust that underlies the Social Security Trust Fund.”

Um.  They are here illegally.  And while Sen. McCain thinks that we all know ”millions of undocumented immigrants pay Social Security and Medicare taxes for years and sometimes decades while they work to contribute to our economy.”  Perhaps I don’t read enough, but I do not know that.

A republican challenger to a democrat Michigan sentor said, “Allowing illegal immigrants to use their illegal work history as credit towards receiving Social Security benefits shows that Debbie Stabenow has forgotten who she is supposed to be working for in the U.S. Senate.”

On this matter, I agree.  If a specific immigrant can prove that he has paid into the Social Security and Medicare programs, then he should be eligible for benefits up to the maximum permitted by his contributions.  However, to open this up to all immigrants – many of whom may well have been paid in cash, under the table – is a ridiculous proposition.
Relatedly, “[t]he Senate also yesterday approved an amendment to adopt English as the nation’s official language, while reversing course from the day before on protections for U.S. workers who will face new competition from unskilled immigrant labor under the Senate bill. In addition, senators voted last night to kill an amendment that would have specified that the guest-worker program will not provide visas that would provide a path to citizenship.”

On Wednesday, senators narrowly approved an amendment to require a foreign worker to have a job lined up in the United States before applying for a green card. The purpose, supporters say, is to ensure that the job market isn’t flooded with foreign workers. Also, it prevents foreign workers from coming to the United States only to wind up unemployed and dependent on public assistance. 

But yesterday, the Senate essentially gutted that amendment by allowing foreign workers to apply for permanent residency without having a job lined up.

And the democrats expect to get someone in the White House in 2 years…

over lesbian Barbie.

Toy manufacturer Mattel is reportedly threatening to sue a Brazilian artist for portraying Barbie as a lesbian.

Karin Schwarz’s exhibition features pictures of Barbie in compromising situations, reports the Jornal de Sao Paulo newspaper.

Mattel has given the artist 24 hours to close down the exhibiton or they say they will take legal action.